I am having a really good day so far. Just wanted to share my good mood. I wanted to write down some random thoughts I am having today.
It is funny how the memory works. It seems that physical pain is forgotten very quickly, emotional pain stays forever, and emotional or physical joy is there but takes some work to remember.
Being a kid was so much fun overall for me. However, I don't readily remember a lot of it. Memories have to be sparked by a picture, or conversation. Is this how it is for everyone? I think I have a pretty good memory when it comes to events. Like Jacob says "that is just how my brain works, I'm good at remembering." However, I am terrible at remembering names and interactions with people. So many people in the small town where I live know who I am, but I have no clue of how I know them or what their names are. I feel really bad about this. Does this mean I am self centered or stuck up?
In high school I was often called stuck-up, I never really felt that way though. I really wanted to be more outgoing, but I am a pretty shy person and it is hard for me to initiate conversations. I usually have to have a reason to talk, I can't usually just chat with people. It isn't that I don't want to, it is just hard for me.
A student asked me yesterday "When you were in school here, didn't you want to leave and go somewhere bigger?" I told her that I really liked school and had a lot of fun. I was excited about moving out on my own, but I never hated it here. I have always been proud of where I came from. I think most people look forward to bigger and better things no matter what stage of life you are in, or how happy you are. I have traveled all over the US and to 8 European countries. I have lived in MN, Columbia and Stewartsville. Each place has advantages and disadvantages. Right now Stewartsville is the best place for our family because we are close to my parents, I have a great job, we can afford to have a farm, we live in the country, and we feel safe and secure.
It is just strange to me to think about how complicated life is. It is a series of choices. One different choice anywhere along the way could have made everything completely different for me. I am pleased with the path life has taken. What I have right now is an amazing culmination of bits and pieces of everything that I have tried and liked. My life has been like tending a garden. You plant things you think you will like and as the garden grows weeds sprout, plants bloom and spread, and some die. You have to pull the weeds, replace some plants and nurture it. In the end you have a beautifully full garden that is just right for it's spot. Amazing!
